


leave me and live happily

by ohluculent



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Short Drabble, lapslock, might make it into social media au, yunhyeong is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:03:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohluculent/pseuds/ohluculent
Summary: yunhyeong misses hanbin, but does the other feel the same way too?





	leave me and live happily

**Author's Note:**

> just a short drabble for my lonely yunbin heart

it’s not like song yunhyeong wasn’t expecting this to happen. 

he knew break ups was hard. he knows he can survive this. he was gonna be just fine. 

and he really was alright. living normally, going out with his friends, working a stable job, and maintaining his awkward friendship with his ex. 

he and hanbin were friends before the whole ordeal, and they didn’t want things to be awkward around. especially, now, that they have the same group of friends. 

yunhyeong really tried to forget about hanbin, and his stupid smile that sends thousands of shocks through his heart. 

yes, he actually forgot about him. 

but on the sixth month of their breakup, in midst of his vacation with his friends from work, he suddenly had the thought...

wow this would be a great view to take a picture with hanbin. 

that’s how it all started. 

he knew it was wrong for him to suddenly bring up his ex. but either ways, he still continued with those kind of thoughts. 

oh my god! hanbin would like this view 

i really miss him

i wish he was with me on this trip

he really wanted to meet my coworkers

hanbin this, hanbin that, hanbin hanbin hanbin...

that’s when he knew, he was fucked. 

he tried to forget about those stupids thoughts, but as he scrolled through his gallery and looked at the pictures he had taken from the trip, only one thing came to his mind. it would be nice if hanbin was there. 

now, after that realization, it didn’t leave him depressed or anything. he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t regretting his life choices, and he definitely did not tell anyone those thoughts. he know he’s strong enough. 

it isn’t until another month had passed, with him sitting inside his car at the parking lot of grocery store waiting for chanwoo to finish buying his stupid mochi, that he felt that the sudden loneliness. 

the epiphany of feeling loneliness overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t help but call hanbin’s best friend, who became one of his closest friend too. 

he tried to calm himself down before calling. 

“hey jinhwan,” he started with shaky voice. the other seems taken back with the sudden call. afterall, it’s been two months since he last called the older. “how are you doing?” 

“hey yun, im fine,” the elder replied with a slight hesitation, and forced laughter. “what’s with the sudden call?” 

yunhyeong let out a big laughed, the elder had no choice but to laugh along with the awkwardness they were feeling. and they laughed. until yunhyeong was composed enough to reveal the truth. 

“hey jinani, im at the parking waiting for chanwoo,” he started. “fuck, i still love hanbin,” and with that he laughed again.

laughed at his stupidity.

laughed at the irony, of him confessing his unresolved feelings towards his ex to his ex’s best friend. 

the other stayed silent for a second, clearly taken back with the sudden revelation. 

the elder hesitated to reply, “y-you what?” and he laughed at the awkwardness of the situation. 

yunhyeong clearly sensed the tension of the conversation. but he couldn’t helped it, he needs someone to know. he needs someone, fuck, he wants hanbin.

“yeah, i’m just sitting here and suddenly, i miss hanbin.” 

“that’s not funny, yun.”

“i know,” he faked a laughed, “last month, when i went for a vacation all i could think about was how hanbin would like the placed we visited,” he said truthfully. trying so hard, not to breakdown on a parking lot. he can do it, he know he’s strong enough. 

jinhwan replied with a simple, “oh.” and proceeded to lecture him about how it was alright to feel that way, but he should still look for someone else. 

and for the whole month, he felt fine. he stopped thinking about hanbin. he lived the normal life again.

another month past, seventh month of the break up, and yunhyeong at 3 am in the morning realized, once again, how much he missed hanbin. 

maybe it was the pictures he accidentally came across his photos, pictures of him and hanbin or hanbin alone, when he was looking for the appropriate meme to send donghyuk. 

those pictures he tried to delete, but in end end he still kept a few of them. 

after all, he can’t let go that easily.

of course, accidentally looking back at those pictures lead to him looking at his notes, and re-reading all those sweet messages hanbin sent him. yes, he has a few of them save on his notes. 

re-reading those messages leads to another surged of emotions overcoming him. he laughed remembering all those memories that was implied on the message. and he can’t help but miss hanbin once again.

he knows he should move on, but he can’t. 

that same day, yunhyeong wanted to cry. he wanted to cry so bad. he wants to let out all those emotions building up inside of him. he wants to let the pain out. he wants to be heard.

but he didn’t. 

he couldn’t cry. 

he know he’s strong enough, but he’s not strong enough to cry. 

crying meant letting go, and he just can’t do that. 

he doesn’t want to let go of him...

his heart was hurting, he can feel every little stab on his heart whenever he reads those messages and remember the days he spent with hanbin. 

why can’t he cry? 

he knows he can, but he couldn’t. 

why?

why? 

maybe he wasn’t hurt enough. 

yunhyeong laughed at that thought. he knows he was hurt. his heart knew he was hurt. but his mind can’t accept that hurt. 

he hates it. 

he can’t cry, oh god he can’t cry. he felt his stomach tightened up. he feels the urge to throw up. his head hurts. god, his heart hurts more. 

he really wants to throw up. 

but he didn’t. 

he know he’s strong enough to handle that. 

yunhyeong doesn’t wanna be strong. he wants to be a normal human being that can cry whenever they feel their heart break. 

he wants to be like others that spent the whole night crying. 

he wants to call hanbin, and tell other to comfort him. 

fuck, he needs hanbin...

**Author's Note:**

> hmm, might continue this as a social media au. check it out there, probably, lol @pandaoneechan


End file.
